A Mysterious Codger from a future dimension tells the tale of Captain Ambivalent’s lifelong quest to become a hero of some kind, until on a night like tonight many years ago he played an accordion solo so awesome it shattered the space-time continuum and he was eaten by a dinosaur. Journey through romantic, corporate, and cultural ambivalence with original witty songs from the albums “Fear The Accordion” and “Pirate Ninja Zombie.” Also, my sister’s Barbies. And a mad scientist. And a dinosaur!

“…packed with wit…” – Jay Harvey Upstage
“…never lets up on the clever wordplay.” – NUVO
“…amazingly funny songs, wild costumes, and wonderfully cheesy props.” – Plays with John and Wendy

Available in 30 min, 55 min, and 75 min (two act) versions.

Technical Requirements

Captain Ambivalent’s self-contained portable multimedia sound system handcart is good for up to 75 person venues. Larger venues require a HDMI projection system input, vocal mic, and 1/4″ accordion pickup input at the stage. Bernie the dinosaur (not to be confused with any other purple dinosaur) requires a 10 foot cube of space to operate safely. Sound system/dinosaur require at least one grounded electrical outlet near the stage.

Multimedia Cart
Bernie the Dinosaur

Musical Numbers

  1. Everything
  2. Are We There Yet?
  3. Pizza Girl
  4. Five Kinds Of Love
  5. Ain’t Got A Clue
  6. She Tortures Barbies
  7. T.B.C.
  8. World Of Fear
  9. I Dreamed That Supermodel Adriana Lima Was An Amish Girl
  10. If I Were A Pirate Ninja Zombie
  11. Laundry Night (Celtic Version)
  12. Hint
  13. My Baby Is A B-Movie Zombie
  14. Be Glad You’re Not A Bone-Eating Snotworm
  15. Eclipsed By Your Behind
  16. Ray Is Not The Name Of The Accordion
  17. The Hero Song
  18. Captain Ambivalent Theme Song
  19. The Thousand Mile Song
The Captain's Compendium

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